Containcorp

Welcome to the Perpetual Containment Initiative!

Containcorp is a logistical management simulation game, where you are tasked with building and managing a facility to contain and study and profit from the most bizarre and mysterious entities and objects on the planet. Media inspirations include the SCP Universe, Aperture Laboratories (Portal), Maniac (TV Series), Dune (Book), Loki (TV Series), Cabin In The Woods (Movie), and Severance (TV Series). Gameplay inspirations include Prison Architect, Rimworld & Evil Genius.

Hello, Extradimensional friends! Micheal here. Yes, Mich-E-al. I run this company. What do we do here? It's in the name. We contain anomalies. Research them. Turn them into value for our customers. Forget the apocalypse, the Corporation has you covered.

My family has been in the containment business for generations. My dad. His mom. Her dad. Another one before him. Probably even more, but we lost the records in the ‘Accounting Fire. The point is, we’ve been in the containment business a long time. Each generation brings new ideas to the table. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t make a profit from an empty cell.

Our founder, Issac Ksicher, gave us core principles that we at the corporation hold true.

Think Outside the Box.

Expand Your Knowledge.

Profit No Matter the Cost.

These principles have guided us gracefully for 100 years. And I am proud to say… we are broke. That’s where you come in.

Say hello to... the Pataverse. The revolutionary science that enabled anomalies to exist has conveniently created a whole world of disembodied minds to run containment cells. Infinite Minds. Infinite cells. We’re conducting a strategic pilot initiative to drive organisational excellence and align profit motivations. Whatever that means. You will be handling all construction, staffing, and research. And we won’t be paying you. You’ll be making a profit for us! 

Why us?

So why would you agree to this? Because it'll be FUN. We're talking eyes glued to the screen, fun. Our eggheads developed a fake translation layer between your world and the Pataverse. We've found a way to gamify containment. Containment is now entertainment. We are calling it the:

Perpetual Containment Initiative

Not only will it be fun. It will contribute to your personal development. Designing containment cells isn't exactly easy. It's a win-win! That’s why we’re pivoting! Into gaming! Because let’s be honest… it worked for everyone else.

Here's how it works.

One. Buy Containcorp!

Available in stores… assuming your dimension even has stores. Some of you might only see a demo on the shelves, but that’s not our fault. Your reality is probably on the restricted distribution list. Our interdimensional department insists on running a rolling alpha test across compatible timelines, which means your particular universe may still be on the “observe and pray” phase. If you want full access, take it up with the eggheads; we certainly won’t.

Two. Design containment cells! Make them fancy! Make them efficient! Or don’t! We literally don’t care!

Make them pristine, overengineered masterpieces that would summon a cosmic auditor, or slap something together out of spite and duct tape. It’s genuinely all the same to us. As long as the anomaly doesn’t breach in a way that disrupts quarterly projections, your stylistic decisions are entirely your burden. Creativity is encouraged, accountability is optional, and consequences are shared equally among whoever’s closest to the blast radius.

Three. Contain anomalies, research them and milk them for profit. For us!

Contain anomalies, research them, and squeeze every drop of profitable insight from their weird little bodies. The science team insists on calling it “knowledge extraction,” but let’s be honest: we’re here to make money off whatever spooky nonsense your dimension coughs up. Document it, poke it, run tests until someone screams, and funnel all findings directly into corporate hands. It’s for the greater good. Ours.

Four. There's a fourth? Ah, yes, recruit others from your dimension, and get a nice bonus!

Recruit others from your dimension, and enjoy a generous incentive package. We love growth, especially when someone else does the recruiting for us. We promise this isn't a pyramid scheme. However you manage to do it, just get them through the door and claim your bonus before they realise what they’ve signed up for.

Incentive does not apply if you are born on a Monday, have a Y chromosome, you drink coffee in the morning, you sleep more than 6 hours, you are bleeding internally, you are not in prime health, your name contains the letter A or an odd number of letters, or if you think of elephants at least 1 a month.

Responsibilities

You’ll be housing anomalies: unpredictable entities with behaviours we barely understand. Your job is to study them, contain them, and stop them from turning the facility inside out.

Using the “Director Field Operating System” (DFOS), you can oversee every part of the site: build multi-storey structures, route power and fluids, equip staff, and design custom containment cells and procedures.

We can not fathom how you could mess up this opportunity, especially with all the tools you will have at your disposal!

Pioneer the emerging scientific field of Anomalogy. Our R&D division pushes the limits of knowledge (and sometimes ethics), using anomaly research to unlock new technologies that strengthen containment and open profitable new industries where we aim for total market advantage.

On the Containcorp project, every experiment moves us forward and teaches something useful to whoever inherits your job.

We’ll even award you your own P.H.D in Anomalogy.

Our shareholders (us) demand growth, and our anomalies provide it. Whether it's anomaly-powered energy solutions, gaslighting people into thinking they have been to France or patented containment technology, all our work ultimately generates profit. Your investment will fuel our company's relentless pursuit of profit, enabling larger facilities which can contain even more bizarre phenomena.

At Containcorp, we believe in the power of trickle-down economics and hope you do too, because that's how you will be handsomely reimbursed. Of course, it'll be a great development opportunity for you as well!

Hello extradimensional investors! We imagine you have big pockets. If any of you live in a universe made of pure gold, email me. For the less financially graced investors. We’re putting together an investor council. We need ideas on how to make even more money. Here's my ideas so far:

• Lootboxes, gacha pulls for new anomalies.

• ‘Premium’ containment cells.

• "Contain" coins

• A Battle Pass, with rewards like ‘Better Locks’ and ‘Less Radiation Exposure.

But I’ve been told by the Board we need to keep things consumer-friendly. Can’t expect to be picky when the company's future relies on metaphysical altruism.

You may be asking, “Why utilise the work of extradimensional beings instead of hiring professionally trained and experienced managers in our home dimension to oversee facility logistical operations, and instead, opt for an ethically dubious remote control scheme which forgoes the individual rights and free will of the managers involved who act as proxies with no control over their bodily autonomy?”. It's a question we get a lot. And the answer is...

Because it works.

Our top scientists within our "Prospective Future" department have made some insightful studies into the future benefits of the Containcorp Project, including data backed up by temporal information sources.

We promise you, through the power of breaking causality, the Containcorp Project will make huge returns. We have literally seen the future. That future can only become a reality if you make the reality today that the future will become.

So buy Containcorp and/or invest today! Help us help ourselves, and by extension, you.

This message was brought to you by Containcorp Corporate Communications, a subsidiary of the Containment Corporation. This message has been filtered into your native language and may include inaccuracies. CCC strives for universal standards and continually works on improving communication. We hope you enjoyed this message. Making communication easier, one word at a time.