Secret Agent Allan Martin in ... Phoenix Erupting

MORE BADASS THAN BOND MORE AGGRAVATING THAN ARCHER MORE BORING THAN BOURNE ABOUT THIS GAME You play the role of Allan Martin, an occasionally suave British superspy armed with a licence to cause an international incident. Can you survive international assassins? Can you stop an evil mastermind's nefarious plans? Can you avoid contracting an STD? Welcome to Phoenix Erupting, a visual novel brought to you by the people who played Police Quest IV and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. You are sent by your bosses to investigate an evil European megalomaniac with dreams of world domination or whatever. Charm, fight, and shag your way through exotic locales such as Latin America, Monte Carlo, lush volcanic islands, and Milton Keynes. A VISUAL NOVEL? Did you ever grow up reading ‘Choose Your Own Adventures’ books? Then you’re a nerd. So are we, and that’s why we made this game. The other reason we made this game is because it’s the genre of game that requires minimal programming and game design. But within those limitations anything can happen – you can catch a venereal disease, have something shoved up your arse, listen to a man going to the toilet, and literally get covered in shit – and that’s if you play the game well! There are well over 100 different decisions trees spread throughout the game – some of these decisions not affecting the game at all, while others can result in an untimely death. This game has 12 different final endings giving the game great replay value. Another feature that gives this game great replay value is the ‘skip dialogue’ button, which makes the game go super-fast, although you might have no idea what’s happening! A “COMEDY” “GAME” This game is so funny you’ll not only piss your own pants, but also other people’s pants as well! This side-splitting adventure will have you laughing non-stop at jokes about poop, drugs, murder, women, alcoholism, foreigners, and dead children. This game also contains reference humour and meta gags so you can feel good about how clever you are. Because you get to choose how the story progresses it’s your fault if you don’t find this game funny. If you’d made the right choices this game would’ve been hilarious – we promise. \[Note: If you find our attempt at humour is of the ‘so bad it’s good’ variety, then that was our intention all along] A BUNCH OF COLOURFUL CHARACTERS Brilliantly written characters make this world come alive. Be careful how you interact with people, as your reputation with certain characters can affect how the story plays out and which story branches you end up going down. Sometimes having a good or bad reputation might make the game more interesting. Or more tedious and boring. It might even be the difference between saving the Earth and being buried under 6-feet of it. Additionally, there are many more colourful secondary characters to meet, several of whom you can kick in the balls!